Overcoming Anxiety: Maria Leonard Olsen On Five Effective Strategies for Mental Well-Being

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An Interview With Nancy Landrum

Spend time with people who encourage you and who live the type of life you want to have for yourself. There are studies that show that we take on the characteristics of the five people with whom we spend the most time. If you spend a lot of time with anxious people, your anxiety likely will be higher

Anxiety seems to be the dis-ease of our times. More people than ever are taking medications to help them cope with stress. Nearly everyone I talk to is consumed with anxious feelings that hijack any pleasure they could be getting from their lives. The pressure to “produce” combined with a perception of “not enough time,” combines to create anxiety, self-doubt, frustration and resentment. Resentment, then, is often taken out on your closest, most important relationships. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Maria Leonard Olsen.

Maria Leonard Olsen practices law as a commercial litigator in Washington, DC. She is an author (50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life), podcaster (“Becoming Your Best Version”), journalist, TEDx speaker (“Turning Life’s Challenges into a Force for Good”), book marketing coach for female authors and mentor to women in recovery. Maria served as a political appointee in the Clinton Justice Department and on numerous boards. She writes for several women in midlife publications (including AARP’s The Ethel, The Midst, KuelLife and CrunchyTales) and is a frequent public speaker on wellness issues. Her next books will be DNA Test Surprises: What To Do Before and After You Open the Pandora’s Box of Consumer DNA Testing and 60 After 60: Finding Serenity in Your 60s. Learn more at MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media @FiftyAfter50.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you tell us a bit about you and your backstory?

Iam a commercial litigation attorney in Washington, DC, an author, podcaster, journalist, TEDx speaker and mentor to women in recovery. I have suffered from anxiety and depression at various times in my life and took antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications for more than a decade. I have been off of such medications for four years.

As a successful person in your field, have you or do you experience anxiety?

And if so, how do you manage, reduce or eliminate anxiety so you can work efficiently and enjoy your non-work hours? Practicing law is definitely anxiety producing. There is a high rate of alcoholism in the legal field. I have learned an array of tools that help me manage my anxiety. These include meditation, breathwork, journaling or putting worries down on paper, working with mentors and therapists, exercise and getting enough rest.

Have you gone through a period of time in your life where you felt as though you were drowning in anxiety?

If so, please share your experience and what you perceive as the reasons. After my father died in 2007, I plunged into a debilitating depression and was riddled with anxiety. I felt like I was moving through molasses and had great difficulty making decisions. I did not speak much, and I am generally a loquacious person. My demeanor was completely out of character for me. My close friend said I resembled a ghost of myself at that time. I think the contributing factors were grief, confusion, anger, lack of emotional regulation and a lack of effective coping skills.

What or whom did you lean on to help you cope with anxiety?

I had a therapist, family and friends who helped. I tried many different things and I believe it was a combination of those things that eased me into wellness once again.

What lessons did you derive from that dark period of time, that serve you now?

I learned that courage sometimes requires asking for help. I realized that I could not do this healing alone. I have surrounded myself with people who encourage and uplift me. I pay the lessons forward by helping others. I practice self-care every day.

Do you have days or circumstances that still cause excessive stress?

I think that is part of the human condition. We all will face life challenges. How we move through them depends on introspection, self-knowledge and knowing how and where to find resources.

What are your dependable “go to” strategies that you use to restore balance to your emotions?

When I focus on my breathing, I cannot simultaneously be worrying about the future or fretting about the past. This practice centers me and calms me.

Please name five tips, practices, beliefs or affirmations that you recommend to anyone going through a highly stressful time.

1 . Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Find an appropriate therapist. Not all therapists will be right for you, so choose wisely.

2 . Create a toolbox of coping skills to use when you need them. Sometimes I write them down to remind myself.

3 . Read inspiring books, listen to helpful podcasts or TED Talks, seek out gurus who have what you want in your life. Keep learning and growing by expanding your perspectives.

4 . Practice self-care: Emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and psychological. There are many facets to self-care and different ways to care for these spheres of self.

5 . Spend time with people who encourage you and who live the type of life you want to have for yourself. There are studies that show that we take on the characteristics of the five people with whom we spend the most time. If you spend a lot of time with anxious people, your anxiety likely will be higher.

On a scale of one-ten, if 8–10 was your former, chronic level of anxiety, how would you score your usual level of anxiety today?

On average, my current level of anxiety is a one. I have learned to let go of that which I cannot control.

Do you have daily practices that support you in maintaining peace, calmness or balance in your life?

Yoga or other exercise, walking meditation, box breathing, daily readers of inspirational readings and listening to podcasts or TED Talks.

Was there any particular saying, person, or book that taught you the skills that enable you to escape or avoid the higher levels of anxiety that used to plague you?

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, helped me let go of making assumptions about others and from taking things personally. It is a simple, and very wise book that I read periodically.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with those who are reading this article. Are there also other ways you are sharing your wisdom?

I do a lot of public speaking and write frequently for periodicals and am writing several more books. You can read my pieces and learn about my books and presentations at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com. I also mentor individual women.

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.