Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Maria Leonard Olsen On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness
Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Maria Leonard Olsen.
Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author, journalist, TEDx speaker and mentor to women in recovery from alcoholism and addition. Learn more about her work at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com.
Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?
Iwas raised biracial in a Washington, D.C. suburb and always felt out of place in my predominantly white neighborhoods and schools. At age 50, I got divorced, sober, became an empty nester and was living alone for the first time in my life. I had to change everything about my life and basically start over. So I tried 50 new things to determine how I wanted to live the next chapter of my life. Most of that is captured in my book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, and my TEDx Talk, Using Life’s Challenges as a Force for Good.
What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?
I want to help others to navigate life’s challenges. None of us goes through life unscathed. I felt many times, over the course of my life, that I had no one who would understand what I was going through or how I felt. That was not true, however. I try to be that person for others.
Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?
I used to self-anaesthetize with alcohol to mask my feelings. I simply tried to deny that things happened in my life and the shame and fear I felt. It was not an effective strategy. Not processing my traumas was like holding a beach ball under water. It would pop up unexpectedly when triggered and harm my relationships with other people. So I learned how to process my feelings in a helpful manner and not just drink them away. Today, I have learned not to deny my feelings. I am prone to over-busyness, so I must guard against that as a mechanism for ignoring my emotions.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Resourcefulness has served me well. If I do not know an answer, I know where to get the answer. When I was a student at a top ten law school, I felt intimidated by my classmates, who were largely from Ivy league schools, so I perceived them to be more capable than I. My resourcefulness helped me achieve high grades and a job at one of the biggest law firms in Washington, DC, as well as a subsequent political appointment in the Clinton Justice Department. Secondly, I would say my ability to network. I am a good listener and maintain contacts well. None of us can become successful alone. I cultivated a strong network of people and we help each other succeed. My network helped me obtain speaking engagements, publish books and articles, and obtain fantastic jobs and other opportunities. Finally, I would say my willingness to volunteer. When we help other people, we raise our self-esteem and increase our good karma in the world. People remember kindness. Often that kindness comes back to us. I have helped others succeed. A friend was starting a new business and I supported her. She, in turn, sent clients to me for my legal work and book marketing service.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?
I am writing a book that will be published by Brandeis University Press. It is about the legal ramifications of consumer DNA tests. I was blindsided by a DNA test and I want to help others prepare for this sometimes fraught journey. A DNA discovery about a family secret can upend one’s life.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?
For a good portion of my life, I did not practice good mental self-care. It is an aspect of self-care that is sometimes overlooked. If one does not take care of one’s mental health, one cannot be an effective worker, parent, partner or friend. It is something that requires attention for success in life, both personally and professionally. Thankfully, more attention is being paid to mental health in the workplace and the media because it is crucial to well-being.
Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?
When you care for yourself, you can approach your work and your life in general with more centeredness and confidence. Mental self-care involves critical thinking and an interest in ideas and creativity. You can approach this type of self-care in many ways. For instance, you might focus on career development or your favorite creative pursuits, with a growth mindset. Practicing positive psychology, a form of self-care, impacts our mental health as well by reframing our experiences in helpful ways that allow us to thrive and not remain stuck. In addition, maintaining our cognitive health keeps our minds sharp and may slow memory loss and general cognitive decline.
Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?
Try new experiences that stretch your comfort zone. Courage is not the absence of fear, but feeling the fear and doing something anyway. Moving through fear will increase your confidence.
Maintain a healthy inner dialogue. Actively reframe your thoughts when negativity creeps in to your mind. Talk back to self-defeating thoughts.
Train your brain through affirmations and mantras. Through repetition, we can cultivate new beliefs, habits and perspectives.
Learn new skills, like new languages or how to play a musical instrument. Try new hobbies or learn how to use new technologies. Such practices maintain cognitive health.
Feed your mind with stimulating information, such as from listening to TED Talks, reading books, or by taking classes. Keep learning and expanding your perspective and knowledge base. Keep the neurons firing.
Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?
Some people feel they are not worthy of self-care, that they do not have enough time to practice it, or are simply in denial. To overcome such obstacles, talk to a mental health care practitioner, journal about challenges in your life, meditate, and take a hard look at areas in your life that need attention. Prioritize your well-being. Realize that you cannot be your best version if you do not take proper care of yourself.
In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?
Your time on this earth is of uncertain duration. Don’t waste another moment. Your life is happening right now. Take at least one step to make your time here the best it can be. And if that does not include self-care, you are doing yourself and those you love a disservice.
Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?
No one is responsible for your happiness but you. I used to look for outside affirmations as a barometer of my self worth. That was counter-productive. I now look at myself and what I do to make sure everything is in alignment with my values. That has made a tremendous difference in my life and has reduced my people-pleasing tendencies that did not serve me well.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
Oprah Winfrey. She is a woman who has overcome great adversity and uses her power to help others.
I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?
Check out my website, www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow me on social media @FiftyAfter50. Many thanks!
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
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