Latest Piece in KuelLife.com on Reinventing Myself at 50
Positive Aging Thought Leader: Maria Leonard Olsen
At age 50, I blew up my life–reinventing myself became an imperative.
I got sober, divorced and was living alone for the first time in my life. I willingly had given up a lucrative career in law to be a full time at-home mother to my children when they were young. My job was to teach my children not to need me anymore. As teenagers, they started pushing me away. I was bereft and felt rudderless.
The Next Chapter Of My Life:
As a gift to myself for my 50th birthday, I tried 50 new things during my 50th year to determine how I wanted to live the next chapter of my life. Each taught me something about myself.
The exercise resulted in my most successful book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life. The book helped thousands of people get unstuck and uplevel their lives. More often than not, people attending my book tour events would shed tears as they related how I helped them peel away the armor and negative thinking that was holding them back.
“They showed me how to be grateful for all that I had, instead of focusing on what I had lost.”
The things I tried in my 50th year included lifestyle changes, spiritual endeavors, adventure travel, learning and teaching, physical challenges, social activities and thrill-seeking ventures.
Not all of the things I tried will I repeat, like an ill-fated attempt at singing on stage at an open mic night. I am not a good singer, but the experience, like all of the others, helped me expand my comfort zone.
How I Feel Grateful:
One of the most impactful things I did was to sell most of my belongings, put the rest in storage, and move to the poorest region of Nepal to volunteer. I lived for several months in a family’s house that had no electricity or running water.
The people of the small village were among the happiest I had ever encountered. They showed me how to be grateful for all that I had, instead of focusing on what I had lost.
I experienced a profound perspective shift while in Nepal. I learned how not to take blessings for granted. The children I helped to teach in Nepal were so grateful and eager to learn, despite sitting on mud floors for their lessons. They were generous with me and with one another.
Their village hero had learned English, trekked across the country, took a job washing dishes to put himself through college, and found a job in the United States as a translator. The people’s resilience in the face of much adversity was immensely instructive to me.
My Life Choices:
When I returned to the U.S., I no longer took things for granted. I appreciate every day that I can walk, read, and have access to medical care and clean water. I recognize that paper towels and napkins are luxuries in many parts of the world, and that disposables cause pollution worldwide. I am more mindful of what I use and how I use and re-use things.
I became more intentional about my life choices. When faced with requests, I practice the pause. I ask myself whether opportunity aligns with my aspirations and authenticity. As a recovering people pleaser, this was hard to do. I still smile when I recall Jamie Lee Curtis’s quote: “I no longer people please and people are not pleased.”
I learned how what others think of me is not a true barometer of my self-worth. I internalized the sentiment of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
I paid more attention to my intuition. I surrounded myself with people who brought out the best in me and limited my time with energy vampire-type people and activities. This resulted in a more joyful quality of life.
Own Style Of Minimalism:
I adopted my own style of minimalism while reinventing myself. For every one thing I acquire, I donate, sell or recycle two. Having fewer material possessions requires less time to care for my things. It also avoids my children having to deal with disposing of so many things when I leave this earth.
This practice became easier now that I value experiences so much more than things which, perhaps, is one of the gifts of aging.
“We only get one life, and it’s happening right now.”
Bronnie Ware’s book on the most commonly expressed regrets of those dying resonated deeply with me. One of these regrets was not spending time with those whom I cared about most. Another was not allowing myself to be happier.
I resolved to live a life free from regret by nurturing relationships with those important to me and prioritizing my own happiness. We only get one life, and it’s happening right now.
Reinventing Myself And Finding Serenity:
Now I am in my 60s. I am working on the sequel to 50 After 50, tentatively titled, 60 after 60: Finding Serenity in Your 60s or at Any Age. I recognize that I have lived more of my life than I have ahead of me.
I also recognize that happiness at this stage in my life is feeling good about myself, being responsible for my own happiness, living a life that is in accord with my values and making this world a better place because I was here.
You can do this, too. Do not settle for the gray safety that sameness promises. Try or change one thing today.
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About the Author:
Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author, radio show and podcast host in the Washington, D.C., area. For more information about her work, see www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media at @fiftyafter50. Her latest book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, which has served as a vehicle for helping thousands of women reinvigorate their lives, is offered for sale on this website.
https://kuellife.com/reinventing-myself-at-50-transformed-my-life/