To promote my well-being, I practice physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social self-care. All are important. For physical self-care, I stay active and pay attention to the nutrients I consume. For mental self-care, I try to learn something new every day to keep my brain’s neurons growing. For emotional self-care, I pay attention to my feelings and do not try to ignore them. I journal about them and ride them like waves, knowing that no feeling is permanent. I try to discern what my feelings are trying to tell me and if some situation must be addressed as a result. For spiritual self-care, I practice mediation and gratitude. For social self-care, I am very intentional about how I spend my time. I nurture relationships with people who help me thrive and who bring out the best in me. I avoid energy vampires.
Asa part of our series about Mental Health Champions helping to promote mental wellness, I had the pleasure to interview Maria Leonard Olsen.
Maria Leonard Olsen is a civil litigation attorney who practices in the Washington, D.C. area. She is an author, TEDx speaker, host of the Becoming Your Best Version Podcast, radio show host and mentor to women in recovery. Learn more about Maria at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?
I grew up biracial in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Since I did not look like any of my friends, I always felt other than. I used books as an escape and did very well in school, which was pleasing to my immigrant mother, who wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer. I also discovered alcohol as a teen and used it as a way to cope with my problems. Alcohol later ruined my life, for a time, but I learned a better way and now use my experience, strength and hope to help others.
You are currently leading an initiative that is helping to promote mental wellness. Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are trying to address?
Because I used unhealthy coping mechanisms for much of my life, I know what it is like to use chemicals and behaviors to anaesthetize in unhealthy ways. Now I know there is a much better way to live in the light. I help people find that way via my podcast, Becoming Your Best Version, my writing, my public speaking (like my TEDx Talk, “Using Life’s Challenges as a Force for Good”) and my one-on-one mentorship. Secrets and trauma kept me sick. Such things that we push down and do not deal with continue to haunt us and negatively affect us in subconscious ways. I help people break out of these unhealthy behaviors.
Can you tell us the backstory about what inspired you to originally feel passionate about this cause?
Not dealing with my trauma and mental health issues was holding me back from enjoying life and living to my full potential. It was like holding a beach ball under water. It took a tremendous amount of mental and emotional energy to hold my problems at bay without dealing with them, and the anger and fear would pop up in unexpected ways. Until I allowed a trusted person to bear witness to my underlying pain, I could not be fully whole. Once I did the work, however, it was as if huge weights had been lifted. I was able to live a life beyond my wildest dreams. I want to pay these discoveries and healing methods forward to others.
Many of us have ideas, dreams, and passions, but never manifest them. They don’t get up and just do it. But you did. Was there an “Aha Moment” that made you decide that you were actually going to step up and do it? What was that final trigger?
I had been a chronic people pleaser, who subjugated my desires for those of other people. It was an attempt to try to get them to like me. I used other people’s regard of me as a barometer of my self-worth. I finally realized that it is impossible to get everyone else to like me and that I was making myself ill trying to do so. We can only control ourselves. We cannot control others. So, when I dropped that rock, I was able to thrive. The wrong people fell away from my life and the right people were attracted to me and stayed in my life.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?
The more I share about my own pain, the less it hurts. I found that sharing one’s joy multiplies it, and sharing one’s pain cuts it in half. When I speak publicly on my trauma, I am amazed at the response. Particularly young women surround me in tears after I talk, for instance, about my sexual assault publicly. I do it so that others will not feel so alone. I did this at the National March to End Rape Culture and am still touched by the women who approached me and told me how I had helped them find strength to seek help and to thrive.
None of us can be successful without some help along the way. Did you have mentors or cheerleaders who helped you to succeed? Can you tell us a story about their influence?
My sober sisters who I met in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon have helped me tremendously. People are so vulnerable in these rooms and so committed to helping their fellows who are suffering. I feel so understood and not judged in the 12-step meeting rooms. When I met my sponsor, I gradually shared my life’s secrets with her. I was astonished when she had had the same secrets. I could not believe it! It made me feel not so alone and helped me move past some significant blocks in my life. My sponsor continues to be my biggest cheerleader.
According to Mental Health America’s report, over 44 million Americans have a mental health condition. Yet there’s still a stigma about mental illness. Can you share a few reasons you think this is so?
I think stigma comes from fear. At the root of most problems in life is fear. In our culture, we are pressured not to show weakness. Those who have not sought out mental health assistance do not know how helpful it is to ease pain and suffering.
In your experience, what should a) individuals b) society, and c) the government do to better support people suffering from mental illness?
I think a public health initiative aimed at educating the public about the benefits of mental healthcare would be beneficial to all. I think everyone should acknowledge and promote mental health care as being as important as physical health care. It also should be equally accessible to all.
What are your 5 strategies you use to promote your own well-being and mental wellness? Can you please give a story or example for each?
To promote my well-being, I practice physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social self-care. All are important. For physical self-care, I stay active and pay attention to the nutrients I consume. For mental self-care, I try to learn something new every day to keep my brain’s neurons growing. For emotional self-care, I pay attention to my feelings and do not try to ignore them. I journal about them and ride them like waves, knowing that no feeling is permanent. I try to discern what my feelings are trying to tell me and if some situation must be addressed as a result. For spiritual self-care, I practice mediation and gratitude. For social self-care, I am very intentional about how I spend my time. I nurture relationships with people who help me thrive and who bring out the best in me. I avoid energy vampires.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a mental health champion?
My favorite podcast is Becoming Your Best Version. I interview inspiring women about what they do to elevate their lives. I put their wisdom into an eBook recently, called “How to Become Your Best Version.” My book, “50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life,” has helped thousands of people reinvigorate their lives and contain my suggestions on how people can live their best life at any age. It contains many resources, as well.
If you could tell other people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?
Consider your legacy to the world. What do you want to be remembered for by others. Each of us has gifts we can share with the world. And it is never too late to start sharing your gifts. Every day I try to make the world a bit better because I was here. Sometimes, that means picking up trash I see on the sidewalk. Sometimes that means being a support to a person who is suffering. We all have something good we can do for our world.
How can our readers follow you online?
You can read my blog at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow me @FiftyAfter50 on Instagram, Facebook and twitter. On LinkedIn, I am Maria Leonard Olsen.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
About the Interviewer: Inspired by the father of PR, Edward Bernays (who was also Sigmund Freud’s nephew), Michelle Tennant Nicholson researches marketing, mental injury, and what it takes for optimal human development. An award-winning writer and publicist, she’s seen PR transition from typewriters to Twitter. Michelle co-founded WasabiPublicity.com.
https://medium.com/authority-magazine/mental-health-champions-why-how-maria-leonard-olsen-is-helping-to-champion-mental-wellness-6893292fd83e