Maria Leonard Olsen: 5 Things I Learned From The Social Isolation of the COVID19 Pandemic
With the success of the vaccines, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel of this difficult period in our history. But before we jump back into the routine of the normal life that we lived in 2019, it would be a shame not to pause to reflect on what we have learned during this time. The social isolation caused by the pandemic really was an opportunity for a collective pause, and a global self-assessment about who we really are, and what we really want in life.
As a part of this series called “5 Things I Learned From The Social Isolation of the COVID19 Pandemic”, I had the pleasure to interview Maria Leonard Olsen.
Maria Leonard Olsen is a lawyer, journalist, TEDx speaker, author, host of the podcast “Becoming Your Best Version” and co-host of the Inside Out radio show in Washington, D.C. Maria graduated from Boston College and the University of Virginia School of Law, worked at one of D.C.’s largest law firms, served in the Clinton Administration’s Justice Department, and serves on several charitable boards. Her most recent book, 50 After 50 — Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, has been used as a vehicle to help thousands of people across the country reinvigorate their lives. See www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com for more information.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers like to get an idea of who you are and where you came from. Can you tell us a bit about your background? Where do you come from? What are the life experiences that most shaped your current self?
I grew up in the Washington, D.C. suburbs. My mother is an immigrant from the Philippines and my father is a Caucasian American. It was illegal for my parents to marry in our home state of Maryland (and 16 other states) in the early 1960s, so they had to go to another state to get married. As a mixed race person, I frequently felt as if I did not quite belong anywhere. I also had a mercurial, alcoholic father. My parents divorced at a time when the Catholic Church excommunicated divorced people, which also made me feel other than my Catholic school classmates. I developed a drinking problem as a teen, and got myself in dangerous situations.
However, I found reading to be a great escape from my problems, and I excelled in school, graduating from one of the top law schools in the country. I married a nice Southern gentlemen and we had a beautiful life. But my drinking led to the demise of our marriage.
I eventually learned how to use my life’s traumas and difficulties — alcoholism, sexual assault, divorce, self-hatred — into a force for good. My passion is helping others with my writing, public speaking and mentorship.
Are you currently working from home? If so, what has been the biggest adjustment from your previous workplace? Can you please share a story or example?
I am primarily working from home. I have several jobs. As an attorney, I occasionally have to go to court, though many but not all hearings currently are done online. I write for several publications, like AARP’s The Ethel, and am working on my next book. These jobs are easily done from home.
What is difficult is not seeing people as often. I miss my colleagues and the camaraderie at the office. One problem I encountered is that online communications can sometimes lead to miscommunications. Tone is lost. I know that I misinterpreted an email from a colleague, thinking she was criticizing my work. She had read my emails out of order and her emails therefore were not quite responsive to what had been sent.
What do you miss most about your pre-COVID lifestyle?
Travel is my favorite pastime. COVID has curtailed those opportunities. I believe the adage that “travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”
The pandemic was really a time for collective self-reflection. What social changes would you like to see as a result of the COVID pandemic?
I think all of us realized that what is most important in life is not material things, but relationships. Our hearts hurt when we were apart from our loved ones for extended periods of time. My wish for our society is that we would all focus on that which is most important and develop a widespread attitude of gratitude for our blessings, both big and small.
What if anything, do you think are the unexpected positives of the COVID response? We’d love to hear some stories or examples.
Many of us learned to walk outdoors more, leading to a greater appreciation of nature. Simple pleasures of the warmth of the sun, blossoming plants and fresh air were among our rewards. The Japanese practice of forest bathing gave me much pleasure during the quarantine. Even in a mostly urban setting, I was able to find small forests of lush greenery. Walking around our neighborhoods also led to getting to know our neighbors better, in some instances. We all saved on gas and left smaller carbon footprints, which benefitted our environment.
How did you deal with the tedium of being locked up indefinitely during the pandemic? Can you share with us a few things you have done to keep your mood up?
I met friends online and we exercised together. I am more likely to exercise if a friend is doing it with me. It also gave us time to catch up with each other.
Aside from what we said above, what has been the source of your greatest pain, discomfort or suffering during this time? How did you cope with it?
Not seeing my adult children was very difficult for me. They live in different cities, but we typically see each other every few months. I miss them terribly. Zoom helped, but it was a poor substitute for hugs and shared time in person.
Ok wonderful. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things I Learned From The Social Isolation of the COVID19 Pandemic? (Please share a story or example for each.)
Relationships are much more important than things. What did I miss most when I could not have them? My loved ones. I think the pandemic brought this into stark focus. We all missed our friends and family. Not seeing my adult children and my mother over holidays really stung. I now savor whatever time I have with them. We never know what time we have left in this life.
I do not need as many material things as I thought I did, including groceries. I learned how to make do with what I have instead of going to the store as often, to reduce my exposure to potential virus. I learned how to make some delicious meals using items in my pantry.
Zoom and FaceTime are better than not seeing friends and family. A lot of miscommunication can happen via online written communication when you cannot see someone’s facial expression or body language and cannot hear tone. And being able to see someone when conversing seems more personal and is a richer experience for me.
I rescued a dog from an animal rescue organization. But the truth is that he rescued me! What a wonderful companion when I could not see very many people. My dog provides me unconditional love and gets me moving, especially outside.
I am extraordinarily blessed. If I focus on all that I do not have, I will never have enough. If I focus on all that I do have, it becomes magnified in my life. Gratitude makes everything better. We have access to medical care, food and clean water. I can walk, see, hear and taste. I no longer take these things for granted. There was so much loss during the pandemic. I am so grateful for my life.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you during the pandemic?
Viktor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” He survived the Holocaust and recognized that we may choose our response to anything that happens to us.
When I learned to practice the pause and to respond instead of react, my life changed. I knew that I would eat something every day and that my problems were minor compared to people who truly were suffering. I learned perspective.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
Lady Gaga. She is fascinating, multi-talented, versatile and an inspiration to people who feel that they are outsiders. I would love to meet her!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Check out my website, www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com, and follow me on social media at @FiftyAfter50.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.